She shuddered at the term ‘international law’. Her eyes hastily drifted away from the computer screen. Images of striped white blouse, microphone and red carpet flashed through her mind. She pushed them away. Going against a senior lawyer from a reputable university. What was she thinking? Embarassing herself in front of the panel of speakers. “Can we change the world?” What the hell? Of course we can’t. But why did she have to ask that in that jam-packed hall? She thought the only female speaker was impressed by her. Now she’s not sure whether that smile was really a smirk. Putting down the UN when he stands by the Charter like it was the Bible. Such brazen actions can only be done by those who don’t know much.
That applause? It was from the ignorant. That smirk? It was from the wise. All she wanted to do was to impress the people with her skills. She didn’t care much about the content. She had a seed of a question growing in her mind. But she didn’t let it grow first to see what kind of plant it is. What kind of flower it would produce. Red? Blue? She just went ahead and threw the seed towards them. Oh yes, she was on cloud nine after it ended. People were indeed impressed by her. She got what she wanted. Attention, praises, admiration. But they’re from the ignorant. Or the wise pretending to be nice. The next day made it worse. She just had to approach him. She just had to question him again. He brushed her off, left her in the lurch. There was no time to spare for this ignorant little lady.
She stumbled then. Now she has found her strength again. The kind of strength that would not be there but for the fall. After all, in the face of past stupidity, courage is all she has to hold on to.
